transcript...

I am sitting in my living room with Cartoon Network on the TV. It is 9:28 am and with me are Sweeney (6 months), Pearl (2 yrs & a smidge), and Seymour (8). Here is the transcript:

Pearl: Gackyargans?
Seymour: No, you're gonna watch Kai Lan, then Backyardigans.
Pearl: You wewee fixed it.
Earl: Fixed what?
Sweeney: Screech, blabble, frp
Seymour: Dad, you know what I don't get? Why are girls more flexible than boys?
Earl: Well, umm....I think it's because they have to have babies so they need to be more flexible.
Pearl: Daddy! I wan cupcake!
Earl: We don't have any cupcakes.
Pearl: Awww, paweeeeese?
Seymour [with knees stuffed into his Tshirt]: Look Dad! I'm Yoda.
Pearl: I wan cupcake.
Earl: We don't have any cupcakes.
Seymour: Ooh Dad! Can I show you something on YouTube?
Earl: Not right this minute. I'm using the computer.
Seymour: I know. I meant later.
Earl: Sure...PEARL! Take your finger out of Sweeney's eye!
Pearl: Togeder mend the gakyargan!
Sweeney: Squink, grurdle, uyagh!
Seymour: Dad, look. I taped two pencils together to make Yoda's walking stick.
Pearl: Daddy? You wanna dance wif me?
Earl: Well, of course I want to dance with you, Baby.
Pearl: I not baby, Daddy. I Pearl.
Earl: OK. But you'll always be my baby.
Pearl: Can I hab stick?
Seymour: No. You'll stick it in your eye and scramble your brain.
Pearl: OK.
Sweeney: Druwell, fraergh, fwange
Pearl: Daddy! I got go potty.
Earl: OK. Let's go.
Pearl: Can I hab stick?
Earl: No. You can't have the stick. Besides, you don't need a stick to go potty.
Pearl: I don't hafta go potty.
Earl: I thought you said you had to go potty.
Pearl: OK. [Runs to bathroom.]
Seymour: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Earl: What?
Seymour: I'm using the Jedi mind trick on you.
Earl: Oh, right. These aren't the droids I'm looking for.
Sweeney: Grnt, mmweh, weeighit
Seymour: Even though that was actually Ben Kenobi that said that line in Episode IV, not Yoda.
Earl: I think it's OK if you take a little poetic liberty for the sake of creativity.
Seymour: What?
Pearl: OK, Daddy. I all done going potty. [Standing in kitchen, naked from waist down.]
Earl: Good girl! You went potty on the toilet! You're a big girl.
Pearl: I a big girl!
Seymour: The floor's all wet!
Sweeney: [Growing agitated] Raghgh, einghth, WAHHHH!!!
Earl: Did you go potty on the floor?
Pearl: I sorry Daddy.
Seymour: Mmmmm! Premonitions, premonitions. The visions you have, tell me of them.
Earl: PEARL! Where does the potty go?
Pearl: I sorry Daddy. Poop on the potty!
Earl: Do you have to poop?
Pearl: No, I no hafta poop.
Seymour: General, surround the clones and a perimeter create!
Earl: Are you sure you don't have to poop? No pooping in your pants! Poop goes in the potty!
Pearl: Mm hmm. Poop go in da potty.
Sweeney: GRNNNNNNNT
Seymour: Hmm, a poop is Sweeney creating!
Earl: Pearl? Do you have to go potty?
Pearl: I wan cupcake!
Seymour: DAD!! Sweeney pooped and it stinks!
Earl: OK. Thanks for the report.
Seymour: No problem.
Pearl: Uh oh! I pooped.
Earl: You pooped? On the potty? Please tell me you pooped on the potty...
Pearl: I sorry Daddy.
Earl: Hey Yoda?! Just strike me down with your light saber, would you?
Seymour: I sense great anger in you, young Skywalker.
Pearl: I wan cupcake!
Sweeney: Giggle, fluurp, thnorkie.


What more can you say?

Giggle.

Fluurp.

Thnorkie.