I was chided today for writing about issues from my own perspective. The complaint stemmed from the reader feeling that the content of a post was too personal to be shared with the viewing public. I disagreed. It wasn't pretty.After attempting to explain the reasons behind my desire to post the occasional memoir as a form of therapy and the idea that I choose to write about MY life however it may affect the reader, I was unable to influence this particular reader. It's a shame, really. Some truth can be subjective, though often empirical. It is the fear of truth that leads to the conversation I had today. I have chosen to respect the wishes of this reader for the time being. I cannot say that I will never write about certain periods of my life, even if there are some readers that will take umbrage.
The worst part of the whole argument today is that it threw me right off what had been an inspiring day. I have been catching up on reading and my head is full of ideas. I was excited to sit at the new desk and start writing for pleasure. The argument ensued and all I wanted to do was hit something. That kind of frustration kills the creative spirit.
Paul,
ReplyDeleteThe fear, the helplessness, the sadness you revealed in the NICU post was one that affected me all day and I'm sure has affected you for the last 10 years! I'm guessing this story was only a small bit easier to tell knowing the joyful outcome. My son will be 19 and my daughter will be 17 this year and I have never experienced such pain, sorrow, or stress that you revealed with your boy! That experience happened! That experience rattled you to your core, that experience framed the rest of your life! TELL IT? Hell yes!
For today I am,
your cousin
David
Sometimes you go hear some asshole writer speak and he says that he Writes For Seven Hours Straight Every Day No Matter What.
ReplyDeleteWell fuck him.
Sp go ahead and be angry for a while. Then get back on it. The writing life is riddled with emotional land minds. And the more powerful and personal your writing, the more frequent and explosive the obstacles; the more furious the critics and effusive your supporters. No one cares about the vapid writing.
I face rejection, criticism, more rejection, name-calling, more rejection, insults, and more rejection every day while posed at his keyboard. But I am posed at the keyboard, writing. When I get published, sometimes the good guys will rally and tell me how they loved my work. Sometimes they'll even stop me on the street to comment, or write my editor.
Just keep going. It's okay to fall down as long as you get back up. You win when you get back up.
Every person, you described as being present on that day, could tell of their own feelings. Each differant in many ways. Only you, can detail your own. It is your blog. Once you commit yourself to write, you cannot separate feelings from the facts.
ReplyDeleteErin, for example,left nothing to the imagination when she wrote about her beloved brother. Her writing did not have a happy ending.
It is a way to let your fatherly side show and from the look on that boy's face, he is a happy child. Often times the father is left in the shadows......not this time.
Perhaps it was foolish of me to assume that your critic was speaking of your NICU blog.
ReplyDeleteDear Earl(AKA) PJ.....
ReplyDeleteSeveral family members have told me of your blog. I had to see it for my self. You have to keep writing. I can send you some suggestions if you wish. Hugs to the entire Tesch family....Ma Tesch has always been my favorite auntie....Blood is thinker than water. - BM-(not the potty talk kind of BM...ask Ma Tesch who I am.....)
It is a good piece.
ReplyDelete"Your baby may not make it" is a life changing experience all in one short sentence. Your parental instinct is to fix it - to make it better - to at least help. But all you can do is watch and worry and cry and yell and collapse.
It changes you. Sometimes you have to write about it.
Ridiculous! One writes what he or she feels. If they write well, so much the better and you do write well. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteIf the objector was your mother or your wife (and maybe even not so much your mother) I can see where legitimate discussion might ensue. If the objector was anyone else, the correct response was none. Just delete the comment, or email, and pretend you never saw it. It's your blog, it's your writing, it's your psyche, it's your choice. Anyone who feels uncomfortable reading a blog post has an instant remedy at their fingertips. It's called a mouse button.
ReplyDelete"Click away, click away!"
As many others have mentioned, I too was strongly moved by your last entry. I attempted to comment yesterday after reading it, but was unable to frame a reply.
I respect you for your ability to put yourself out there in such a compelling manner. I have never found the same courage at my blog.
I didn't know which piece started the fight so I didn't make my comments specific to any one entry. But "Call me Paul" has a good point, although I thought the story about your son truly was about you. You didn't talk about how someone else "felt" or insinuate blame anywhere.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty hard to tell someone not to write when they're talking about their own experience.
For what it's worth, I endured a terrible family situation a few years ago and I won't write about it publicly for fear that the person involved would sue me for libel if I so much as typed her name.
The post on the birth of my son is entirely about me and the range of emotion that ran through my small mind.
ReplyDeleteI am loathe to comment on my own blog, but I should probably clear up that the NICU post is not the one that caused the dispute.
You've already encountered a negative on the blogging train? That was quick and surely and indication of your future popularity. You will learn to roll with it and continue writing about exactly what you want.
ReplyDeleteYour space, your domain, your kingdom
R~
I agree the blogging platform can be great therapy. I've used it as an endless source myself. What I do know, is you can't please everyone. At the end of the day it has to be about what you want out of this blog. I did tunnels through my pysche constantly and invite people in to my introspections. Promis there will always be that one(or two) that finds something wrong with what you've written. From what I can see the majority that come by you appreciate your view of from where you are. I'm one of those people. (Hugs)Indigo
ReplyDeleteI have been known to mention that I am partaking of 'therapy through blogging' a time or two. I have been fortunate not to have suffered from someone trying to hassle me, but then I have to wonder, would I care.
ReplyDeleteDo your thing.