about paul bitzan
simple • adjective • 1: easily understood. 2: plain and uncomplicated in form. 3: humble and unpretentious. 4: of very low intelligence.
and now, a musical interlude...
In the morning, before school, when Earl Jr. and Seymour eat their bowls of Apple Jacks and I quiet the voices in my head with a caffeine fix, we will watch music videos on the MTV. The early AM being the only time music videos are actually played. As I am a child of the 80s, I was there when the network first appeared. I can still remember when, due to a shortage of actual videos, they would play film of landscapes and space walks with Rush's 2112 playing over it. The music video has evolved since its infancy, with 3 1/2 minute major motion pictures and high brow, art house shorts. Some are clever satires of classic films, while others are merely concert footage. Many have succumbed to the music video cliches. Lone guitarists shredding in the middle of a desert. Wind machines. Buckets of water thrown on scantily clad young men and women. With art, whether it is literature, film making, painting, etc., any genre that is around for long enough becomes increasingly difficult to demonstrate with any originality. A case in point is this venture from Lady Gaga. Let's take a close look at the video for Poker Face .0:03 - Uh oh. She's coming out of the gate with a tired device. Latex clad, slow motion, dripping wet. Not a good start Lady.0:08 - What the hell are the dogs doing there? I'm not entirely sure what the metaphor is. Maybe she's Danish?0:27 - A touched-up tight shot of Gaga with a space-age white, sharp angled wig. What's that thing on her face?0:38 - So, apparently the producer or some friend is the proud owner of a palatial estate that features expertly manicured landscaping and crash-test dummies in various poses. Seems to fit the contemporary flavor of the young lady in latex with the thing on her face.0:58 - The first costume change. She looks a bit like a hooker from The Jetsons . Also, well placed gang of homosexual backup dancers.1:04 - A clearer shot of the thing on her face. Is that a piercing? Or is it glued on? I have to know what that is!1:05 - What happened to the dancers behind her?1:09 - They're back!1:15 - New costume again.1:23 - Pseudo-orgy. Propriety requires clothing, but we know.1:30 - An ace on the Turn and again on the River?! I'm all in.1:41 - I like how she's reaching out to the common man. It happens so often, I can't even count the number of times I've played strip poker with super models.1:50 - The guy in his underwear seems to have the thinnest legs ever recorded. If there were records of thin legs, that is. And if there isn't, there oughta be.2:04 - Uh oh! Black boots with a blue space-hooker suit? Awfully uncouth if you asked me. Maybe something in a white or teal sling-back pump?2:22 - Cool glasses. Like a modern day Max Headroom.2:30 - You heard it right. She's bluffin ' with her muffin'.2:43 - Another wardrobe change. Another underwear model. He seems quite disinterested.3:09 - I thought for SURE that she was going to make out with the Great Dane.3:34 - With classic flair, Lady Gaga gives us a closing pout that says, "I am sexy. Don't ask me what I was thinking. Just know that I am sexy."vid each morning when it is played twice every sixteen minutes. I am disappointed, though, in how videos like Poker Face pale in comparison to the cutting edge pieces that were prevalent in the hey-day of music television. Videos with deep meaning and a focus on the musician seem like they may be a thing of the past. Videos like this:
Black boots with a blue space-hooker suit is my favorite outfit to wear to the grocery.
ReplyDeleteYou didn't mention the obligation hip thrusts and heat inspired fog.......
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, your observations were spot on and entertaining!
I remember the days. We were all so happy Earl when Video Killed the Radio Star, now you can barely catch a video, let alone a good one. How many reality shows can MTV have? Real World....The Hills. The list goes on. Then, if that is not enough, lets have those folks compete in show after show, the Dual, the Inferno. I am sick of it. You know what I want to see, the Battle of the Network Stars. Why did that go off the air? I used to love seeing Kristy McNichol in her shorty shorts and long socks on the obstacle course, the forever sexy Scott Baio and the tug of war....now that was television!
ReplyDeleteT
I have been wondering about this phenomenon that is Lady Gaga ... man, what an overrated twaddle!
ReplyDeleteRush 2112 is the album that took me permanently from the domain of 'black radio'. I STILL love that album!
Hey, I am just talking ... Anon should love the NEW Battle of Stars ABC has cooked up!
I hope you are not pulling my leg Big Mark 243...I must now search the web to read of this new battle! You may have just saved my summer!
ReplyDeleteThrilled to be T